Swirl of her frock coat as she steps neatly across the astro-turf in high-heeled suede boots, hockey-stick in hand. Playful, she makes contact with the puck. Thwack! At the podium, her pretty voice can pull strings with the audience. Twang! Too much hair falling over her right eye, but it only adds to the impression of modesty. From decorous Duchess of Cambridge (DC) to full-on Kim Kardashian, coming on stage in Bahrain to a backdrop of Kim-Kardashian-coming-on-stage-in-Bahrain; her booty as chiselled as her eyebrows. Screaming crowd, a few words from KK (‘beautiful Bahrain’ etc, etc), a homegrown MC who has learned to say ‘Kim Kardashian’ the LA way (she doesn’t get to say anything else). Meanwhile, frock coated like DC, narrower hips than KK, an unnamed woman strides down Russia’s M10 motorway, walking past cars and trucks gridlocked since Friday in a 125km traffic jam. A police officer brings a kettle of boiling water to the pop-up, roadside shelter she is heading for. Inside, beyond the hiss of all that slushy snow, there are benches and tables and glasses of tea; and nothing to do but wait.