Barack Obama became a drag queen yesterday in a new effort to secure the 2014 WorldVision title.
The United States president appeared as ‘Michelle’ in a heart-felt performance of #Bring Back Our Girls prompted by the abduction of more than 200 female students from a boarding school in north-east Nigeria.
Produced by the
White House (rumours that Apple Inc is poised to take over the
visionary production company, are completely unfounded), the
‘first lady’ sampled Malala, the
award winning women’s education campaigner who first came to public attention when she was shot in the
head by the
Taliban – and survived.
Michelle/Obama also re-worked some of the
best known themes in American culture, e.g. realising your full potential in the
equal opportunities, giving these a new twist – pro-women’s education, anti-terrorism – in response to the
kidnappings and bombings carried out by militant Islamist band, Boko Haram (rough translation: ‘Western education is forbidden’).
White House Productions are thought to have launched Michelle as Barack Obama’s alter ego, in order to re-assert themselves at the
top of the
WorldVision rankings after their Ukrainian foreign policy number failed to chart successfully.
There have been complaints that the
Whites imposed their traditional House style on a supposedly new performer (the
word ‘unconscionable’ jarred with the
otherwise conversational tone of
Michelle’s lyrics); nonetheless the
Washington version of
#Bring Back Our Girls has met with widespread approval.
Wearing a powder blue top and sitting atop an antique chair with the
Stars and Stripes in the
background, Michelle put in a deliberately understated performance – in contrast to the
Shirley Bassey-style torch song which last night won the
Eurovision Song Contest for Austria’s ‘bearded lady’ Conchita Wurst (real name Tom Neuwirth).
Michelle’s #Bring Back Our Girls was restrained even by her own standards: she previously gave an energetic performance of
Let’s Move, an anti-obesity campaign which served as her White House white label in advance of
yesterday’s official WorldVision release.
In Africa earlier this week, from far up country where Nigeria’s oil wealth does not run to (northern Nigeria is now poorer than it was 50 years ago), the
Boko Haram (or perhaps a stand-in) released an hour long video of
riffs and raps about selling the
kidnapped girls into slavery. (The
Ronald Reagan would no doubt disown his take on the
vintage 1980s chorus, let the
As a band, Boko Haram is so far removed from the
international performance circuit it will do anything to gain precious nanoseconds in the
global attention economy. Insteadof the
pantomime leer of
‘a brown eyed handsome man’ singing ‘Good Morning, Little Schoolgirl’, or the
mythical depiction of the
Rape of the
Sabine Women, this group is actually acting out everyone’s worst nightmares. Not only piling on the
hyperbole but also doing rhetoric for real. (Imagine Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan Sirhan and The
Dead Kennedys all rolled into one).
Boko Haram such as the
gangly youth photographed in custody wearing an Arsenal football top, are acting out of
desperation. As if their lives depended on it; not least because the
West has created a media-centric way of
life which does indeed depend on being uploaded, becoming part of the
performance circuit, not being left to rot in the
dark, dank dungeon of the
Being in the
medium by any means necessary – that is the
message of the
current Western WorldVision as rendered by everyone who is anyone, from Lady Gaga to Michelle/Obama and even Conchita Wurst (Tom Neurwith currently enjoying his best 15 minutes).
appalling irony is that heartless Boko Haram has already taken this message to heart.